Sweeney Todd? In a Parody? Yessss!
by mmfreak666
Summary: A Sweeney Todd parody including green eyeliner,Will Ferrell,male models,and Peru.Sorry, not good at summaries,but please read and review!
1. Boats'n'Hoes

Author's Note: This is my first story, so I hope you enjoy it! Written for fun. Slight character changes throughout the story. Rated T for drug use, and language. Please read and review!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sweeney Todd, Will Ferrell, Flapjack,Las Vegas, Lady Gaga or Brittany Spears,green eyeliner, Peru or LSD.**

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The ominous organ music plays as we start the wondrous adventure to Candy Island, with the streams of soda pop trickling down the rocks and where life is adventurous and free….

Wait. Stop right there. This isn't Flapjack! This is Sweeney Todd, the tale of a murderous barber out for revenge! With some show tunes thrown in. So let's start over, shall we?

The ominous music starts up again and we fly through the streets of London. Quickly. STOP IT'S MAKING ME DIZZY! Don't stop to stare at the prostitutes (yeah I saw you) I wanna get through the opening already. Okay, so blood, blood, blood, and we are magically on a boat. Now our story can begin.

A girl is standing at the front of the boat, singing softly to herse-oh it's just Antony. Never mind.

_I have sailed the world_

_Beheld its wonders_

_From the Dardanelles to the mountains of Peru_

_But there's no place like London_.

(Cues Jaws music)

"_No there's no place like London." _Mr. Todd sings, creeping up on Antony. Antony screams. Loudly.

"Mr. Todd, that was SCARY! You know how I frighten easily." Antony exclaimed, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. Mr. Todd rolls his eyes.

"Honestly Antony, we've already been on this ship, for what, five seconds, and you are already screaming. That doesn't come until later. Remember, stick to the script! Besides, I'm the one scaring the viewers at home. NOT you. Despicable, foul little…" Sweeney continues to hurl insults at Antony under his breath. Antony is oblivious to all of this, as usual. Mr. Todd starts to sing again, because he can.

_You are young. Life has been kind to you. You will learn._

"Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Todd. Were you saying something? I was watching the captain dance around like a lunatic." Sweeney Todd turns and notices the captain, singing and dancing. The captain looks suspiciously like Will Ferrell.

"Boats 'n' hoes, boats 'n' hoes, gotta have me my boats 'n' hoes." Captain Will bellowed. Sweeney Todd glares at him until he stops singing.

"Do you mind?"

Captain Will pouts and storms off deck. "This isn't Vegas." Mutters Mr. Todd.

"Don't you just love that song Mr. Todd?" Antony asks, his doe eyes shining.

"I can't say that I do Antony. I can't say that I do."

Antony gasps and begins to cry, causing his green eyeliner to start running down his face. "But Mr. T, it's up there with P-p-oker Face and W-w-womanizer!" Antony sobs. "You heartless bitch!" Mr. Todd waits for Antony to stop crying. Mr. Todd rolled his eyes again. He starts to sing again.

_There's a hole in the world like a great black pit_

_And the vermin of the world inhabit it_

_And its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit_

_And it goes by the name of London._

_At the top of the hole sit the privileged few_

_Making mock of the vermin in the lonely zoo_

_Turning beauty into filth and greed…_

_I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders_

_For the cruelty of men is as wondrous as Peru_

_But there's no place like London._

"Oh, so you've been to Peru as well!" Antony chirped. "Did you have a good time?"

"Actually, I did, it was very lovely." Replied Mr. Todd. The pair continued to chat about their individual stays in Peru, Dardanelles(whatever those are) and Antony's modeling career. They soon passed by an island where some kind of holiday was going on.

"Is that London?" asked Antony.

"No."

They passed by another random island, this time covered in snow. Some children were having a snowball fight.

"Is that London?"

"No."

They finally came to a bridge, dirty brick buildings, and a grey sky. "Is that London?" asked Antony.

"Yes."

"NOOOOOOOOO!" wailed Antony. "IT'S SCARY!"

Sweeney Todd sighed, and proceeded to drag Antony and his luggage off the ship. "Do you eat at all?" Todd asked carrying Antony to the dock.

"I have to keep my figure." Antony explained. Sweeney Todd nodded, for once upon a time; he was considering a career as a model. He went back to being his brooding self.

Come on Todd, emo think emo!

"I beg your indulgence, Antony, but my mind is far from easy. And these streets are filled with shadows, every last one of them." Sweeney spoke softly, for the full effect.

"Mr. Todd? Are you being emo again? Mr. Todd?" Antony questioned, yet his voice could not pierce through the hallucination Sweeney was currently experiencing.

"I beg your pardon, but I just saw myself being arrested in front of my wife." Mr. Todd sighed, a glazed look in his eye. "Oh, that was many years ago. I doubt if anyone would know."

"Know what?" asked Antony. Sweeney turned, giving Antony a death glare similar to the one he gave Captain Will.

"I _don't_ know Antony, that's why I doubted anyone would know." Todd rolled his eyes for the third time, an action he would find himself doing in the future around Antony. Antony was silent for a moment, and then dared to ask Mr. Todd a question commonly found in cheesy romance movies.

"Will I see you again?"

Mr. Todd, our favorite singing barber sighed, and walked away, not giving Antony an answer. As he walked away, Antony heard him say something.

"No more LSD!"

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Did you like it? Please let me know. And Sweeney needed that LSD. I mean, who could sit there, listening to Antony talk about his male model career without the assistance of an illegal substance?


	2. Enter:Nellie Lovett!

As Sweeney gets off his high, let's introduce our next character, shall we? Mrs. Lovett was in her kitchen making her "pies" (if you could call them that) and smashing the many insects running on her untidy workspace. She danced and hummed as she rolled out the dough, crushing many bugs with her rolling pin. She sighed as she looked around at the empty room and the bare tables, wishing somebody would just come in and BUY A FREAKIN' PIE! Her anger-laced wishes came true, as Mr. Todd walked through the door.

"Um…..is anybody there?" Mr. Todd asked the empty room. He did not see Mrs. Lovett because she suffered a huge, manga -style nosebleed. She pulled herself off of the floor, adjusted her hand gloves, hair, and chest, and looked toward the doorway again.

"Oi! A customer!" Mrs. Lovett yelled as she charged toward Mr. Todd. He whimpered and started to run, but Mrs. Lovett was too fast for him.

_Wait what's your rush, what's your hurry?_

_You gave me such a fright; I thought you was a ghost!_

_Half a minute, can't you sit, sit you down, sit!_

_All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer in weeks!_

More like forever, thought Mrs. Lovett, as she dragged Sweeney towards one of her empty tables. When he was seated, she walked to the door and locked it. She daintily walked back to the counter and picked up a meat pie that had been sitting there for what seemed like forever. As she walked back to Mr. Todd, she brushed off the dust with her hands. She looked at Mr. Todd menacingly and slammed the pie in front of him, making him jump.

"Now then, you are going to eat that whole meat pie right there." she whispered in his face. Mr. Todd, who was still terrified of the blood-covered Mrs. Lovett, obliged. He stared at the pie, and then back at Mrs. Lovett. He took the pie in his shaking hands, lifted it to his mouth…and took a bite.

"Is that a-a-a beetle in there?" he questioned Mrs. Lovett.

"Course it is dearie! These _are_ the worst pies in London!" she chuckled. "I'm just foolin' with your 'ead. You don't have to eat the whole pie." She chuckled again. "One bites enough. I got a nice tot'o'gin in the next room. You can wash out that awful taste." And with that, she bustled off to the other room. Sweeney Todd started to follow, then ran back and took a quick bite out of the pie.

(EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!) If you are grossed out by that type of thing.

"NooooomnuuuuuooooommNOMYum. That is **fucking** good pie." mumbled Mr. Todd.

"Come along luv, there won't be much gin left by the time you get 'ere! 'Alf the bottle's already gone! Crowed Mrs. Lovett. As well as anger problems, Mrs. Lovett had a bit of a drinking problem as well. As Sweeney Todd enters the room, Nellie Lovett is pouring the gin into a small glass.

"What's in that room up there?" Sweeney asked. Nellie looks at him.

"Not a very nice thing that 'appened up there. Some say it's haunted."

"Why what happened?"

_There was a barber and his wife_

_And he was beautiful_

_A proper artist with a knife_

_But they transported him for life_

_And he was beautiful…_

"Did I mention he was beautiful?" Mrs. Lovett asked Sweeney.

"I think you said it once or twice."

"Really? Cos I'm not sure if I did….."

"You said it quite a few times."

Mrs. Lovett nodded and continued with her story. "Anyway. Barker, 'is name was. Benjamin Barker."

"What was his crime?"

"Foolishness. And being too damn hot for anyone to handle. But mostly foolishness. 'Er crime too. I mean if Judge Turpin comes to your house every day after your 'usbands been arrested, holding flowers, DON'T YA THINK HE WOULD BE UP TA SOMETHING! HE'S PRACTICALLY STALKING YOU!" Nellie screamed. She calmed herself quickly before speaking…by slamming back some more gin. She needed to learn how to control her anger. " Ya see, the Beadle lured her to the Judge's house. The Judge raped her. Couldn't live with 'erself. Poisoned 'erself she did. Arsenic. Tried to stop her."

"No! Would no one have mercy on her?" Mr. Todd yelled, standing, knocking his gin to the ground.

"Came in a little late with that line there. So it is you. Benjamin Barker. You owe me some gin now."

"Barker's dead. It's Todd now. Sweeney Todd. And you will get your gin!"

"Good." said Nellie burping and swaying. "Cos I just drank the last of it."


	3. Creepy Dolls and Razor Love

Hello. Because I'm a lazy bastard, I haven't updated in a little bit. I feel really bad about that, so here is the new chapter. **Disclaimer: **I don't own alcohal, creepy dolls, Lord of the Rings, or Freddy Kruger. I will try to get more chapters up soon. If you haven't noticed already, I only include little bits of the songs. I assume most people that read this will know most of the words to the songs already.

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Mrs. Lovett and Sweeney Todd tromp up the wooden steps to the room above the pie shop. Mrs. Lovett was still very tipsy, so it wasn't very much of a surprise when she reached the top and fell back down the stairs. Todd, watched her fall, then proceeded to laugh so hard his stomach started to hurt.

"Ah-hahaha-ha! You…..are sooooo drunk!" Sweeney wheezed.

"The least you could.._hic_..do is…_hic_…help me up!" Nellie hissed. She slowly started to climb back up the stairs, holding her head in her hands. When she got to the top of the stairs, she opened the door and stepped inside. It was a dimly lit room, with one wall almost covered with glass windows. The grey light shone inside, casting an eerie shadow on everything. Nellie dropped to her knees searching the floor for something. Mr. Todd walked over to a small crib. He proceeded to lift the grimy blanket off of it.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" he yelled, dropping the blanket. He peered back into the crib.

"What's wrong?" Mrs. Lovett questioned.

"Oh, nothing. I just saw this creepy doll in here and I thought it was a real baby." he said, relieved (this happened to me when I was watching the movie.)

"Oh, that old thing." said, giving a nervous laugh. "You know, that's the reason I don't come up here anymore. I always think about that creepy doll." Mr. Todd smiled, picked up the doll and threw it at Nellie.

"Creepy doll attack!" he yelled. The doll hit Nellie right in the head. She screamed and jumped up, the doll in her hands.

"Don't throw it at me!" she shrieked, throwing the doll through one of the glass windows. CRASH! The glass broke easily. She sighed.

"At least it's gone." she said. She then found the thing she was looking for. She pried off a loose floorboard and lifted out a cloth. She set the cloth down gently on the floor. Mr. Todd lifted the cloth.

"My friends." he whispered. Nellie's eyes grew wide.

"Look how shiny they are!" she yelled, right in Sweeney's ear. Sweeney closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. When I kill you….. he thought.

_These are my friends_

_See how they glisten_

_See this one shine_

_How he smiles in the light_

_My friends, my faithful friend…._

Nellie frowned.

"I don't understand how an inanimate object could be your friend. Are you that socially awkward?" she questioned. Mr. Todd nodded, holding up the razor.

"Look how pretty he is." he said, dreamily.

_I'm your friend too, Mr. Todd_

_If you only knew Mr. Todd_

_Ooh, _

_You're warm in my hand_

Nellie sang, her hand on Sweeney's shoulder. Sweeney was staring at his reflection in the razor, too busy to notice. Who is that dashing fellow, he thought. Oh, that's me! Of course it is. He stroked the razor. Of course, he thought. You're pretty too. So shiny and reflect-y. He slightly turned the razor slightly and noticed Mrs. Lovett behind him. He turned to face her.

"Your face is awfully close to mine." he said. Mrs. Lovett nodded, staring into his eyes. Her heart beat faster. Mr. Todd reached up and sliced the razor across her throat. Of course, that was only in his imagination. He couldn't kill her. Not yet at least.

"You'll soon drip precious rubies." he murmured to the razor. "Your shine was merely silver…."

"Silver's good enough for me, Mr.T." Nellie interrupted.

"Excuse me!" Todd said sharply. "My razor and I are having a conversation." Nellie pouted, sticking her lip out. He turned back to the razor. "She doesn't understand our relationship." he whispered to the razor. Nellie snapped.

"You're damn right I don't!" she shrieked. "What has that razor got that I don't got?"

"Well, for one reason, he doesn't interrupt me EVERY FIVE SECONDS!" Todd yelled back.

"CALM DOWN! You've been drinking, 'aven't you?" Nellie screamed, her face turning purple.

"You're the alcoholic!" Todd shouted. Nellie began to cry. Todd turned back to his razor.

"No, I am not cheating on you with her. I would never cheat on you my precious….precious!" he said in a very eerie, scratchy sounding voice. Nellie had finally stopped crying.

"I hate you." she whispered, eyes red rimmed. Todd turned and looked at her blankly.

"Oh, you're still here." he said. He suddenly stood up.

"AT LAST! MY ARM IS COMPLETE AGAIN!" he shouted, dangerously waving his arm around. He stopped, his eyes growing wide.

"OMIGOD. I can be just like Freddy Kruger! I should totally, like make a glove with all my other razors, and then, like, go out and kill the judge or something." Todd squealed, jumping up and down. Nellie nodded.

"That's actually not a bad idea." she muttered. "Can I be your sidekick or something?" she blurted out suddenly. Mr. Todd narrowed his eyes. She would have to come everywhere with him.

"Actually, you could help me get back into business. Advertisements, word of mouth, stuff like that."

"Are those important jobs?"

"VERY important." Nellie smiled.

"Now, you could go get started, and leave me and my precious here alone." Todd said, voice dropping to a whisper. Nellie sprinted to the door, slammed it open and ran down the stairs. Halfway down, Sweeney could hear her fall again. He bent over laughing.

"Oh, Reginald." he said to his razor. "When will she ever learn?" And with that, he turned to the window and practiced his evil laughter for when he would kill the judge and seek his revenge.

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Did you like it? Should Todd deepen his relationship with Reginald? Do you want to see Mrs. Lovett and her drunken antics? Leave a review and let me know!


	4. Hannah Montana?

Antony skips down the street singing to himself.

_Everybody makes mistakes_

_Everybody has those days_

_Everybody knows what what I'm talkin' bout_

_Everybody gets that way_

People on the street stare at the man prancing down the street singing Hannah Montana. A middle aged man with his wife starts to nod and sing along, but his wife hits his arm and shoots him a look. Antony looks up at the window in Judge Turpin's house. He sees a blonde haired girl singing in a very high voice.

"OMIGOD! It's Hannah Montana!" Antony screams, pointing at the window. The middle aged man lets out a squeal, but his wife hits him again.

Johanna pauses her singing to look at the crowd gathered around Antony on the street. Antony, seeing how he has attracted an audience, starts to dance.

_Sometimes I'm in a jam_

_I've gotta make a plan_

_It might be crazy_

_I do it anyway_

_No way to know for sure_

_I'll figure out a cure_

_I'm patchin' up the holes_

_But then it overflows_

_If I'm not doin' too well_

_Why be so hard on myself?_

The crowd cheers as he sings the rest of the song. As people throw money at Antony's face, a beggar woman runs up and pushes herself to where Antony is singing. She thrusts her hand in people's faces. "Gimme some money!" she yells at the innocent bystanders. Scared by the creepy beggar woman, the crowd slowly disperses. The beggar woman sets her sights on Antony. "This is my street." she informs Antony. "Get your money somewhere else." Antony drops a coin into her hand, now staring at Johanna through the window.

"Could you tell me why Hannah Montana has moved to London? I thought she lived in Malibu with her dad, Billy Ray Stewart and her brother Jackson." Oblivious Antony asks the beggar woman.

"That's Johanna. Judge Turpin's ward. Keeps 'er locked up all day every day. You gave me a penny. I demand more money, you stingy sonofabitch."

Antony hands her another coin. "Johanna." he says. " Her name rhymes with Hannah. I have only seen her once and I feel it is my destiny to save her!" he shouts. The beggar woman rolls her eyes.

"Yeah, okay, have fun with that." And with that she walks down the street.

"Balms, balms, for a miserable woman!" she cries. "Can't you see how chapped my lips are?" And then she was gone. Antony stares back up at Johanna. Johanna is busy stitching a sampler with the lyrics to the song, The Downward Spiral on it. When she stares out the window, she notices Antony still standing under her window staring at her. She squinted. Was….was that a girl? No….wait….that looks like a girl, but it might be a guy….

Johanna couldn't make up her mind.

_I feeeeel yoooouuuu, Johaaaannna! _Antony sang.

"Ok, that's definitely a guy." Johanna said aloud to herself. She smiled at him. He looked nice.

Wait. Was he wearing green eyeliner? Johanna remembered something her maid told her about green eyeliner…..she gasped as she remembered.

**FLASHBACK **(random swirly designs and patterns so it looks like you're going back in time)

_Johanna's maid is at the market looking for the specific brand of green eyeliner Johanna favored. She was about to pick it up when a sparkly gloved hand shot out and grabbed it._

"_Michael Jackson!" her maid sputtered._

"_Hee-hee!" he laughed as he paid for the eyeliner. Just then, a girl skipped by singing Hannah Montana. She snatched the eyeliner out of Michael's hand._

"_Yoink!" _

_Johanna's maid noticed that the girl was actually a guy._

"_I was gonna buy that!" she yelled after the guy, chasing him for a few blocks. Johanna's maid trudged home with blue eyeliner instead. Johanna threw at fit._

Johanna poked her head out of the window and proceeded to cuss Antony out. Slamming the window, Johanna went to go put on some music.

On the ground, what Antony heard was "I need your help Antony. I LOOVVVEEE YOU!"

Antony shrugged. He would do all that he could to save Hannah….er…..Johanna.

Judge Turpin opened the door. He had extremely tight gold pants. Gross. He beckoned to Antony with one finger. Antony (being stupid) walks into the stranger's house.

Antony enters the living room. Ye Olde Playboys line the bookshelves. Antony feels uncomfortable, but stupidly sits down. In the background, the Nine Inch Nails song, Closer plays.

"Hello, little girl." Judge Turpin drones in his drone-y voice.

"Um, I'm actually not a girl, I'm a little boy." Antony squeaks. Judge Turpin frowns. There is an awkward silence. The music keeps playing.

_I want to fuck you like an animal_

_I want to feel you from the inside…._

The silence becomes even more awkward.

Turpin, you are becoming much too hasty in your decision making, he thinks. His inner voice sounds the same as his real one. He turns to the bookshelf. He quickly tries to change the subject.

"Can I interest you in a Ye Olde Playboy?" he asks, taking his vast collection off the shelf.

"I think there has been a misunderstanding." Antony whispers.

"I think not!" Turpin growls in Antony's face. Antony whimpers. "I was under the impression that YOU were in fact, a girl. YOU have falsely given me the impression that you were a girl. Then you just barge into my house, after you have GANDERED at my ward! You GANDERED at her, yes, sir you GANDERED. GANDER,GANDER,GANDER GAAAANDEEER!"

Antony stares at Turpin.

"I think I'm just gonna….leave." Antony says. Judge Turpin looks past Antony. Beadle Bamford is standing in the doorway. Judge Turpin gives him the 'sup nod. The Beadle drags him outside and wacks him with his cane.

"You have refused….**wack**...the honorable…..**thwack**…..Judge Turpin!" Bamford rolls Antony over with his foot.

"If I ever see you around here again, it'll be your sexy little brains splattered on the pavement!" The Beadle less-than-politely-explains to Antony, digging the top part of his cane into Antony's forehead.

AntonyFangirls: *gasp and cover eyes*

The Beadle leaves, giving Antony a wink and a pedo-smile. Antony is on his hands and knees, slowly getting to his feet, when his iCarly duffle bag lands on his back, causing him to fall again.

Me: HAHAHAHA!

AntonyFangirls: *flames shoot out of eyes* Kill Beadle Bamford!

Me: *stares* In a few chapters okay?

Antony slowly walks down the alley, the combination of blood and green eyeliner making him look like a deranged Christmas elf.

_Till I'm with you, than I'm with you there_

_Sweetly buried in your yellow haaaaaaiiiiiir_

Johanna opens the window.

"You owe me green eyeliner!" she screams at Antony


	5. Shave off with an Italian

(The scene opens on another dreary London day. At some market).

Sweeney and Lovett enter out of a dark alley. " 'E's 'ere every Thursday." Lovett said. They jostle and bustle around the stalls. Sweeney sees Beadle Bamford and moves to take his ninja stars out of his pocket.

"Not so fast sexy pants…save those for fighting real ninjas." Lovett whispers to Todd.

The Beadle leers at some girl.

Suddenly some fast dance music starts playing. The people at the market gather around a small stage-like structure. A boy trying to pass as a girl starts provocatively dancing and singing a horrible rendition of Lady Gaga's song, Bad Romance. As he dances, he chucks bottles of brown-yellow liquid into the crowd. Many of them smash on the people's heads; and they wince and cry out in pain. The music stops and there is silence. The boy holds up a bottle.

"Pirelli's Miracle Elixir." He says, standing like a paid spokesperson, waving his hands under the bottle and holding it at different angles, while posing.

Beadle Bamford leers at the boy and he notices. He suddenly stops posing.

A bottle that hasn't broken on somebody's head is being passed around. It reaches Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett. Todd uncorks the bottle and sniffs cautiously.

"This smells like arse!" Sweeney shouts.

The man called Pirelli steps out from behind the curtain. "Who says my eeelixir smells like arse?" he questions angrily.

"Your mom!" Mrs. Lovett yells cheerily.

Crowd: OOOOOOOOO!

"I do." Sweeney announces. "That's what it smells like. I was just being honest." Pirelli's face grows red.

"I can also shave better than you." Todd boasts. "So there."

Crowd: (chants) Shave off! Shave off! Shave off!

Sweeney shoves his razors under Pirelli's nose.

"Look at these razors. See how shiny they are. If I win, I get five pounds. If you win, you get these pretty razors."

Pirelli twirls his moustache while admiring his reflection in the razor.

"Allrrrright." He agrees, rolling his R's. He also does an epic fancy cape twirl.

"TO-BY." Pirelli says, smacking his cane on the wooden floor. Toby, still in Gaga garb rushes to put everything away.

"Will Beadle Bamford be the judge?" Todd asks.

Bamford tears eyes away from Mrs. Lovett's cleavage.

" Uh...yeah, sure whatever."

(Pirelli has a fancy Italian flag. Sweeney has a white sheet. Or something).

"The fastest smoothest shave...is the weenah!" Bamford says.

The crowd giggles at his pronunciation of winner. Then the shave off begins.

The crowd is silent.

"I love you Sweeney!" Nellie Lovett yells. Sweeney rolls his eyes.

Toby's knuckles are bleeding everywhere. Nobody seems to notice.

Pirelli sings a song about how good he is at shaving, while Sweeney takes his time. It's kinda like the Tortoise and the Hare...I mean it would be if the tortoise was super sexy and the hare wore ball hugging blue tights. (I like to call them "Jareth tights.")

Pirelli hits a glass shattering high note. Everyone covers their ears. While Pirelli is breaking the glass windows in the buildings around the market, Sweeney gets some kind of super shaving power and shaves the guy really fast.

Crowd: OMG!

"The winnah is Todd" Beadle cries. Everyone claps. Mrs. Lovett smiles creepily at Todd, because obviously he would win. Hello, the movie is called _Sweeney Todd_ for a reason!

Pirelli goes over to reluctantly congratulate him.

"Just give me mah five pounds bitch!'' Todd yells.

Pirelli grumbles, and hands over the money, then goes over to beat up Toby.

"It's your fault we lost! You should have picked a different song!" Pirelli sobs. He runs away, with his arms flailing and waving in the air.

Sweeney walks towards the Beadle.

"You are a most excellent specimen of an upper class man. I thank you for conveniently showing up today at Pirellis booth."

Bamford blushes "It was no big deal. I am honored to serve random people and neighbors. Your shop is on Fleet Street? You shall surely see me there before the week is out."

Beadle gives Sweeney a creepy smile, lightly touches the brim of his hat, and walks away.

Todd turns to Mrs. Lovett.

"Liek omigod. He totally bought it. I am liek totally gonna kill him when he comes for his shave. My evil plan is in motion! Hooray!

(Sweeney attempts an evil laugh but instead it's an odd girlish giggle.)

Mrs. Lovett cringes. "We are in a public place! Everyone can hear you and your plans of murder! Come on love we're going home."

(Mrs. Lovett pats him on the back, then her hand slowly moves lower, and lower...)

Sweeney feels her hand moving down, and he stops and stares at her.

"Muttermutter**thethingsiputupwith**grumblegrumble" he mutters and grumbles as they walk out of the market and into the gray London streets.


End file.
